Unknown [NONE] drained battery, now won't charge

This morning my laptop's battery fully drained within 2 minutes and now will no longer charge, showing 0% available (plugged in) in the taskbar. I've run powercfg /spr and the report shows that 100% of the battery (2,029,070 mW) was drained in 0:01:51, and the power estimation shows 2,025,431 mW was used by Unknown [NONE] (the next highest only 1,594 mW). I can unplug my laptop and it still works, although it goes into battery saver mode (I've tested for a few minutes before plugging back in). I've tried reinstalling the Microsoft ACPI-Compliant Control Method Battery driver and power-resettin

Question by Michael on Super User, licensed CC BY-SA. We show a short excerpt and link to the original thread as credit.